my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
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He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
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Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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