So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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