Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize