So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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