yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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