do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
areolas are like halos for boobs.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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