Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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