no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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