remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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