I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
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i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
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the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize