I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
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Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
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So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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