I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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