Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
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We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
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Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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