..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
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I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
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There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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