I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
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I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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