This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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