Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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