dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
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She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
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He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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