No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize