I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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