Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize