Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize