I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize