..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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