need another drink. this is the easiest way
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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