There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You ruined the universe
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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