I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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