Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
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Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
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Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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