I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize