...so i touched it.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Holy sore nipples Batman
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize