my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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