can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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