Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
