I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize