I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
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MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
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I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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