I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize