dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Those nachos came to me in a dream
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize