He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize