i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
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Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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