Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
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I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
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Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Send help, water and tortillas.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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