I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
love makes seman taste better
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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