I accidentally had phone sex last night
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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