I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize