No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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