i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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