it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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