it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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