well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Randomize