so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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