kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
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